Dominican Republic

I'm going to the Dominican Republic this summer to do a six week internship with Kids Alive. I'll be at the care center in Caraballo, on the north coast. Here's a link: http://www.kidsalive.org/dr/pcccss.html I'm excited! More to come later in the summer. I don't leave for a month. 

An exercise with H words

Honey gleams in the corner

hum of your mouth-- 

honest hole I stare into 

hour on hour. 

 

I would make my home, 

close to holy words,

near hands that play. 

Together our harmony

builds a humble church,

headed by a two fingered steeple. 

How long we waited, 

every peal of hollow bell

sharper than a hammer's edge. 

From this house 

all homilies proclaim 

hallowed be He, 

the one who hears. 

In the place of healing, He comes, 

inhabits the fellowship of our steeple. 

Sargent's "Street in Venice" Ekphrasis Exercise

This is a set that I did for an Ekphrasis class at Wheaton fall semester 08 with Prof. David Wright. I came across them a week or so ago, and I kind of like them. Ekphrasis means that music or art is involved in the generative process. It's a very fun way to write-- it helps your imagination. I really like this painting because it seems so full of possibility. Sargent is great at painting women, and there's a lot of movement in his work-- to me, his paintings seem full of stories. In Ekphrasis, you decide what the stories are. It's art about art, playing together. 

It all Depends on the Sky
—after John Sargent’s “Street in Venice”

Without the sky
we cannot tell
if it is afternoon
dusk or morning,
if the men loitering
in the alleyway
prepare the morning meal
or make bets at cards.

We do not know
whether or not
to show concern
for the young woman
in the rustling white skirt
lost on the Calle Larga
dei Proverbi. It all depends
on the sky—will the two
huddled in the doorway
follow her or forget her
as soon as she turns the corner.


Angels in the Alley
—after John Sargent’s “Street in Venice”

Once I heard the story of a woman
and two angels in an alleyway,
and the space around this Venetian girl’s
cloaked frame is just wide enough
for her to be flanked on either side.
I think that is why she clasps her hands
together in front and sets her face straight—
she knows. The man in the doorway can see them.
His wormlike eyebrows are lifted
so they brush the bottom of his hat,
and his mouth is the shape of an apricot.


A Wrong Turn
—after John Sargent’s “Street in Venice”

It’s so easy to get lost
in this city of bridges.
A cloak is not enough
to create safety in the pulse
of the Venetian girl who is
as light on the stone street.

Where is her father,
her uncle, or cousin
that she wanders
in the skyless scene.

The streets are wet in patches
and someone is always hungry here,
a wrong turn.


Sargent’s “Street in Venice”
—after Anne Sexton’s “Her Kind”

I, too, have pulled a dark cloak
around my shoulders,
and on other nights roamed
barefoot behind the chapel,
hair rain-smeared to my face.

I, too, am familiar with the eyes of men
trailing the current of my steps
and have kept my gaze low.

Culture, culture, culture

I'm in a biculturalism class this semester, and I'm learning incredible things already. We read chapter five called "Cultural Assumptions of Western Missionaries" from Paul Hiebert's book Anthropological Insights for Missionaries, and so many things stood out to me. We had to write a summary of the article and mine ended up being five pages or so long. I will put up the highlights-- the two things that stood out to me most about myself and the way that I am are self-reliance and need to be liked. Maybe you will relate. If you would like a copy of the summary (that is not particularly well written) facebook me, or find the book yourself. It's incredibly eye-opening. I was thinking as I read it, "What would happen if everyone in the world read one of these about their culture in relation to other cultures?" Maybe there would be less war, fewer disagreements, who knows. Before reading this article, I wasn't even aware that people could think about things differently in certain areas, but I'm learning that a lot of the way I think and react to things is because of my Western/North American culture. Whoa.

Self-reliance
“At the heart of a North American’s identity is self-reliance. Francis Hsu, a Chinese anthropologist, points out (1961:248) that the greatest fears Americans have are to be dependent on others and to be without money. When our car breaks down, we hesitate to call friends for help. And when we need money, we would rather borrow from a bank than beg a loan from a brother or cousin. On the other hand, when others ask us for help, we take the request seriously, just because we know it is not made lightly. But we resent it when people constantly ask for loans, for help in baby-sitting, and for transportation. We expect people to take care of themselves.

Need to be liked
“North Americans place a high value on being liked and see it as a sign of success in social relationships. Since we worry over how others feel about us, we read acceptance or rejection into every coment and gesture they make. The glad handshake, the ready smile, the slap on the back, and the word of praise have all become our normal behavior. Without such expressions of friendship and popularity, we are confused and unsure of ourselves because we are denied one of the requirements for personal assurance in a highly individualistic society. Social success is an important measure of achievement. Stewart (1972: 58) notes, “Americans tend to judge their personal and social success by popularity—almost literally by the number of people who like them.” To be liked means we are worthy of love. It does not necessarily mean we need to like others in return or that our relationships with them will result in friendships” (126).

Old Confessions

I was looking for a friend's address in my Facebook inbox and ran across this message. I wrote it one night almost two years ago now. I read it tonight expecting to criticize some of the word choices and logic or structure after a year and a half at Wheaton, but instead was surprised at its rightness. Not only that, but it is something for me to recover. This is an Ebenezer for me as I look back over my faith. And this is how I want to live everyday-- with this mindset, a profound sense of gratitude for my salvation. I don't want to get wrapped up in myself and "my own" things. I wish that I could make my conversations this simple with people who don't know, because this is what the gospel is. 

my confession: i believe in the living God.

tonight i went to an on-campus ministry called crosspoint. when i came back, i was so excited about being free that i sent a facebook message to someone i didn’t know to tell them about God’s love and forgiveness. and then i realized that i felt comfortable telling a complete stranger about my faith, but i couldn’t tell the people i live with. i realized that i was afraid. i’m not sure how to describe the fear, maybe afraid of being judged or labeled unfairly, afraid to go all out, afraid to cross the line and risk ridicule. maybe i never felt this passionately about it before, but i’ve got to tell you about this love, or i’m going to explode. as i sit here with shaking wrists, i’m coming out. i’m telling the world, starting with Gunn Hall and West Georgia, that i’ve sold out for Christ. i can’t hold back anymore and i am not afraid.

i have to tell you that God sent his son Jesus to rescue you and set you free. he created the whole universe and he has a plan for your life. he loves you, whether you are walking with him or not. above all, he desires to be close to you. he's turned my life upside down and given me opportunities that i never dreamed i would have. he's provided for me and saved me from depression and fear and shame. i stand in awe of the mercy and power of God, of the love that casts out all fear. i hope that you know this same freedom and joy of being forgiven and redeemed, the excitement of a fresh start and the promise of life with the one who made you and knows you.

what i have just told you means everything to me, this is what my life is built on, what i was made to proclaim. when i remember this i am filled with joy and peace, the hard things don’t seem so hard because i rely on God. he already has victory, so i don’t have to be afraid. Paul said, “to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

i want to apologize for the times when i haven’t acted out this faith, when i have been mean or critical. i’m sorry for not helping when i should have and for not being available. i’m sorry for giving an impression of indifference, that is not how i feel…

i just wanted to tell you about this love…

sarah mathias

Bingo

It's been raining for about three days. There have been discussions today about how Americans don't like rain, how we should be thankful for it because it means that there is food, how we are only sad because of the flooding. 

The almost inevitable Sunday afternoon/evening homework is upon me. I'm sitting with Still Life with Oysters and Lemon, Mark Doty, a book for my poetry class-- Ekphrasis writing, poetry in response to art and music. I was already thinking on page two, hmmm a book about one paining, I bet Mom would like this. I'm on page 7 now, and I've gotta put this up here because it's such a cool thought. He says, on the question of whether intimacy is the highest value:

"But then why resist intimacy, why seem to flee it? A powerful countercurrent pulls against our drive toward connection; we also desire individuation, separateness, freedom. On one side of the balance is the need for home, for the deep solid roots of place and belonging; on the other is the desire for travel and motion, for the single separate spark of the self freely moving forward, out into time, into the great absorbing stream of the world. 

A fierce internal debate, between staying moored and drifting away, between holding on and letting go. Perhaps wisdom lies in our ability to negotiate between these two poles. Necessary to us, both of them-- but how to live in connection without feeling suffocated, compromised, erased? We long to connect; we fear that if we do, our freedom and individuality will disappear." 

I love to write in my books. I am an underlined as opposed to a highlighter and I like to write my own comments out to the side. To the right of this section I wrote "BINGO." If he ever solves it, I'll put up some more on here, as well as any other insights gained from the book. I've got to read it before class on Tuesday, but I don't think that will be a problem ; )  

Swansea

Now coming to you live from the land of Dylan Thomas and nearly perpetual rain, Wales. I write from the Bible College library. Dave and Shannon have gone to the train station to somewhere, and they will be on a BBC radio program tonight, called "The Professionals" I think. They get to critique music. How cool. The Millers are some napping and some prepping for tonight's leadership class at the church.

I got to go to Lifelink Community Church Swansea today and I loved it. Mary asked me to sing; they're short of musicians since the college is not in session. It was cool. It was what worship is supposed to be, and not at all because of anything we did. Everyone participated; they were so eager. They all sang and spoke and read the Bible aloud and we had those wonderful moments of resting in the presence of the Lord and singing our own songs and waiting. There was such a unity in the congregation and a sincerity and reverence. It was a sweet time in the presence of God. They were completely comfortable to be open with each other in that setting and it felt relaxed, but not slow or sloppy. There was action. I imagine this is how the churches in the Global South are. They know who God is and they want to meet with him and worship him and they know his power. There was nothing in the service that was about us, and I feel like that's a trend in some of the Western churches. Things are focused on us. Today it wasn't about us at all, it was about him. There was no self-consciousness in the congregation and it was a beautiful thing, like we had stepped into a secret place.

Wales has been wonderful. It's great to be with the Millers and it's been a nice transition from living with 25 college students to living at home again and having tons to do to having nothing required of me. It's not going to be like that when I get home though. So I guess it's a nice vacation. That's the way I felt when I first got off the train here. "Vacation!" The first night we were here, Rick took us (me, Mary, Dave, and Shannon) to the beach, Langland I think, because it had stopped raining. The clouds were very intense when we got there and I got a couple of cool pictures, but then it started to rain. So we went inside and Rick got us all coffees and two cake/scone type things with clotted cream and jam and strawberries. Yum. The next day it was good weather, so we went to the Gower, by Worm's Head. It's kind of like Tintagel, cliffs, sea, rock formations. There were sheep, so that was a nice addition and more like the Lake District than Tintagel I guess. The sheep would just sit on top of the cliffs sticking out over the water. Just chilling. It was kind of funny. Lots of pictures of sheep for later ; ) It's called Worm's Head because it looks like the body of a dragon, I think. It's connected to the land by a tidal causeway, but we were there when the tide was coming in, so we couldn't go onto it. Jon has before though.

I finished reading Narnia, and I picked up this Francis Schaeffer book in the library here a few days ago called, The Great Evangelical Disaster. I've only finished the first two sections, but it's very good and I highly recommend it. I've been trying to find his books all over this country since we toured at Cambridge with the Christian Heritage organization. Schaeffer's son-in-law, Ranald Macaulay, is the head of the organization and gave us the tour and it was fascinating. I might have written a little bit about it, I don't remember. Macaulay wrote the preface for the book, so that was cool, and it's Schaeffer's final book. I took notes for part of it, and I will put them up here later, I don't have them with me. But it's very convicting and hard to read because he's right and our society is messed up and it makes me scared for future generations. He paints a very stark picture of the American situation in post modernism and it's kind of terrifying if you sit and think about it for a while. He wrote it in 1984, and what he's described has only become more true with time and I can see the things he's describing in the way that I think about the world. Scary stuff, but necessary.

That's all for now, going home tomorrow. School starts in a little over three weeks, and I'm not ready to be back there yet. I've gotta find a way to stay in this mode when I get to school, laid back, etc. Jon and I are going to Joe's for famous Swansea icecream. Next time, from the US.
S